Cap'n Crunch Not Really A Captain? Cereal Mascot Refutes Claims on Twitter
Stop the presses, y'all. This is the most important news of this or any other era. Cap'n Crunch may have been lying to us about his actual rank. At least that's how the above photo tells it. However, the cereal mascot has fired back on Twitter, refuting claims that he's no Captain.
One particularly attentive Redditor noticed the disparity between the four stripes worn by a Captain and the three stripes that Crunch wears (making him a Commander). Cap'n Horatio Magellan Crunch has taken the rumors head on.
.@HuffingtonPost All hearsay & gossip! I captain the S.S. Guppy with my crew... which makes me an official Cap'n! #CrunchatizingRumors
— Cap'n Crunch (@RealCapnCrunch) June 17, 2013
"All hearsay and gossip!" wrote Crunch in one of several missives to news outlets spreading the story. "I captain the S.S. Guppy with my crew which makes me an official Cap'n!"
Crunch has also sent out several tweets to individuals who don't believe he's a Captain with the hashtag #CrunchCredibility.
@CaseyWrona All rumors, Casey! It's the Crunch - not the clothes - that make the man. #CrunchCredibility
— Cap'n Crunch (@RealCapnCrunch) June 18, 2013
Once Gawker sent out a story correcting the people who thought that Crunch was unworthy of Cap'n, the mascot was able to bask in the "sweet taste of internet justice."
Ah, the sweet taste of Internet justice. MT @Gawker Cap'n Crunch responds to claims that he's not a real captain https://t.co/RxqiLxcV5x
— Cap'n Crunch (@RealCapnCrunch) June 18, 2013