13 Imagined Reasons Why Bryce Harper Skipped Washington Nationals NatsFest Fan Event

The Washington Nationals aren't thrilled that Bryce Harper skipped the team's annual FanFest event this weekend. It is unclear why Harper missed the event, although he explained his absence as "due to matters out of my control," according to ESPN. Some have taken that to conclude there is beef between the Nationals and Harper, who recently filed a grievance with the team in regards to his contract. That could make some sense. But in case you're not convinced, here are some other possibilities. All must be considered with a question mark attached to the end. 

Bryce didn't attend NatsFest 2014 because he spent the day ...

1. Nursing a case of the mumps that he contracted during a roller hockey pickup game with Alexander Ovechkin

2. Sitting through a four month-long haircut in preparation for Opening Day

3. Literally holding up the Washington Monument as the rest of DC-area sports scene crumbles besides him

4. Hosting a pre-screening of Mark Wahlberg's new flick "The Gambler" in honor of his Las Vegas roots

5. Just not giving a f--k

6. With a tooth ache

7. Practicing running without helmet flying off in aggressive disgust

8. Chillin' with bae

9. At church

10. Thinking, "Washington in December? Chill, bro."

11. Lassoing bulls with self-proclaimed "Son of God" Tuf Cooper

12. Tweeting about the Cubs

13. Watching soccer

Disclaimer: These are clearly all clown suggestions, bro.