Pau Gasol, Chicago Bulls Forward, Shares his Thoughts on Deep-Dish Pizza

Pau Gasol did said something so ridiculous, so offensive, so unthinkable, that anybody reading this under the age of 18 should look away now. Also, if you're from Chicago, take out the reading earmuffs or exit the article IMMEDIATELY! Still here? You sure? OK, let's continue (you've been warned). Gasol recently took part in an interview with GQ Magazine's Alex Wong. He talked about his life, career, Kobe's retirement, and food--there was a lot of food talk, it was fun and harmless. But then the forward for the Chicago Bulls was asked about deep dish pizza and things took a not so PG-13 turn. Here's the exchange:

What about Chicago-style deep dish pizza?

"I've tried it. I'm not a fan of this deep dish pizza. To me, it's just a cake of melted cheese. I like the thin-crusted pizzas better."

Now, 3 appropriate questions for Pau:

1. By deep dish pizza do you mean boiled carrots?

2. Do you prefer kale over chocolate cake, too?

3. How is a cake of melted cheese a bad thing?

It's not as if Gasol is a picky eater, he's an adventurous, well cultured foody. He's not against eating insects, worms, or brains. And this one time, in South Africa, he didn't know if it was lamb brains or pig intestines on his plate--actually, he didn't know what it was, but it was something weird--but he ate it anyway, just because he was hungry. But deep-dish pizza? That's where he draws the line.

It's a lot to take in. You see, Gasol came to Chicago from the Los Angeles Lakers in the summer of 2014 for its diverse culture. He actually turned down better offers (at least, more money) from other franchises just so that he could call Chicago his home. And part of being a Chicagoan is not so humbly boasting about its pizza. Gasol basically said he'd prefer to eat broccoli and beets.

The city of Chicago now issues this public statement: how could you do this to us Pau, I thought we were friends!